Valentine's Day - Conflict vs Compatibility in Relationships

Posted to the Personality Blog on February 7, 2013

With Valentine's Day approaching the question is often asked: ‘will relationships work best with someone who is exactly like me or do opposite attract?’ And sadly the answer is ‘yes and no and yes and no.’ You see the issue of harmony vs conflict is one of adaption. Sure we can’t change our basic personalities but we can modify our behaviour; and that is where we can change conflict to compatibility - if we choose. And that will occur best when we understand the other person. We get to know someone and we adapt our behaviour to accommodate, we consider our impact on them, we recognise they see the world differently from us; and we have compatibility. Relationships have to be worked at and this is best achieved through mutual understanding. So will an INFP get along with an ESTJ? Sure they will - if they really want to and both learn to accommodate, and indeed enjoy, each other’s foibles and idiosyncrasies.

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