So much has been written about whether opposites attract or difference is the key but in real life it is all about understanding the differences, accommodating and managing them. This section will help you see where the potential for conflict exists between personality types and help you manage it.
The INTJ is the patient visionary clear on how the future should look and will work with quiet, logical determination to make it happen. The INTJ loves an intellectual challenge and is stimulated by the abstract, the complex, the new and the untried; facts and figures bore them. They can seem a little detached from others as they quietly process so much information inside their heads.
Curious, communicative with a need to challenge, ENTPs love the intellectual debate, are spontaneous, and assertive. They have a unique view of the world, and bring a fresh perspective. This can make them intellectually promiscuous, enjoying one new experience after another, and failing to follow through on their great ideas as they look for bigger and more novel experiences.
There is no perfect type and in the same way there are no perfect matches. We can all learn to adapt and modify our behaviour if we choose and this section is therefore not designed to suggest particular specific matches but to demonstrate areas of similarity and difference so that a true understanding can happen and thus reduce the risk of misunderstandings.
Being around them
For the INTJ everything has a scientific base so getting close would be difficult initially, as they don’t see the need for emotional connection. Their engagement tends to come via intellectual arguments with like-minded people.
Engaging, plausible, exciting and entertaining the ENTP is very closely attuned to their surroundings and constantly looking for opportunities and possibilities which will feed their strong desire for something new.
Dealing with emotions
For INTJs emotion doesn’t compute and so they may not understand their impact on others or indeed gauge the emotional reactions of others, which can make them appear as insensitive or a little cold.
Often confused with the ENFP the ENTP shares the ability to charm, cajole and persuade others. However the ENTP and will be pragmatic decision-makers using empirical data, evidence and logic to decide.
Openness and sharing feelings
INTJs are private and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misunderstand. INTJs want people to make logical sense and so feelings are difficult for them to fathom.
The ENTP has incredible people skills and will enthuse and entertain people who will want to be part of their set. However they are not really emotional and so will move on easily when they get bored.
Drivers and values
INTJs are intellectually curious and love complex problems and analysing data to and come up with unique solutions, driven more by concepts and abstract ideas than by the emotions of people.
ENTPs have a low boredom threshold and they need the different, the exciting the new, some sort of ‘fix’ to hold their interest, moving from one exciting situation to another drive their incredible energy.
Building stronger relationships
Learn what INTJs are like in a relationship. Understanding the differences between two types is a really great starting point for getting along. For practical guidance on building strong relationships take our practical tutorial.
Get along better with an ENTP. Understanding the differences between two types is a really great starting point for getting along. For practical guidance on building strong relationships take our practical tutorial.
Some people seek harmony, some see conflict as simply robust discussions, some people are emotional, some more factual. So there is no right or wrong about this and what we are trying to do is help two different people each understand how the other might deal with conflict and what it will mean for the relationship.
Initial response to conflict situations
The INTJ is often impervious to their environment as they are deep and private and love getting their heads into complex problems. They love the intellectual robust debate and won’t really ‘see’ conflict.
The ENTP is happy with conflict as it allows them to sharpen their debating skills and engage in verbal sparring. They will not really engage at an emotional level seeing it all as an interesting game.
Issues they'll fight on
For the INTJ it is about creating something new and worthwhile and this will be their focus. They won’t really see the emotional issues and will work at a more cerebral level where they are more comfortable.
Winning the debate is very important to the ENTP and so they will want to be proved right. Telling an ENTP they’re wrong is like throwing down a gauntlet, on they’ll be delighted to pick up.
Conflict style / communication
INTJs work more at an intellectual than emotional level and so would see conflict, if they did engage, as simply an extension of the debate and their arguments would be well thought through, based on data.
For all their people skills and verbal abilities the ENTP is at heart an analyst and their way will be to use logic, rational argument and empirical data to enjoy the debate and win the day.
How they feel after
As the INTJ inhabits an internal world of complexity, ideas and possibilities, working towards conclusion, any conflict would simply be seen as part of that process, enacted then it’s time to move on.
The ENTP low boredom threshold means that when conflict occurs it is over and they move on. They tend not to bear grudges or ever look back as there are so many more exciting opportunities to come.
Dealing with conflict
Some types dislike and avoid conflict, whereas others use it to solve problems and get things done. Understand how an INTJ deals with conflict in our practical tutorial.
We all bring something different to the team and we all agree that difference and balance are good things. However when someone is different from us we might not understand them so well so in this section we allow you to compare the differences at work, how these might manifest themselves and how best to manage them.
Contribution to the team
INTJs will overturn established practice be forward thinking and truly radical. They love the intellectual challenge, coming alive with difficult problems to solve then step back again when it becomes mundane.
ENTPs have a radical perspective, looking at newer, better and more interesting ways. Not for them the routine of the past, but a healthy challenge to the status quo, and irritation with a pace that’s too slow.
The INTJ will be at their best with the facility to work for long periods on their own. If they do lead they prefer like-minded people who also love the intellectual debate and complex challenges.
ENTPs can find ways around obstacles and problems. Headstrong and assertive they can spark life into a team, break through inertia but they may not follow through, as they like to move on to the new.
The INTJ will often find the mundane and routine tedious and energy sapping and may prefer individual contribution excelling at deep diving and working on the unique, the interesting and the complex.
ENTPs will need space and flexibility as they like to do things their way, working in incredible bursts of energy, getting things moving very quickly but then looking for the next big thing to interest them.
Attention to detail / focus
INTJs are perfectionists, with an endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. They will work long and hard on such tasks, driving towards closure, impervious to the outside.
The ENTP does not like to be controlled or micro-managed and they dislike rules or regulations preferring to create as they go, working at pace and focusing on what interests and excites them.
INTJs are ideas people. Anything is possible. INTJs love developing unique solutions to complex problems, and, conversely, if it were not complex or interesting then why would they bother?
ENTPs are true radicals, coming up with ever-better ways of doing things, breaking through conventions and even taking unpopular decisions. However they are less useful when it gets to the detail.
Getting the best and motivating
Find out how to get the best out of an INTJ and what motivates them in our practical tutorial. Are they more motivated by the task at hand, or by the people around them?
Get the best out an ENTP and learn the way to motivate them. Are they more motivated by people, or by the task at hand? Find out more in our practical tutorial.